The Sacrifices of Angels
by Emcron
Summary: Now that the war's over, everyone's settled down, but one person has a terrible secret. Can help from an unexpected source save her?
1. A Brush of Pain

"The Sacrifices of Angels"

            She felt it then, but she ignored the pangs. Instead, she threw her head back to laugh at a particularly humorous joke. Her shoulder length brown locks bounced as she laughed, and she squeezed her azure eyes shut, holding back the tears that were trying to fall. They weren't tears of happiness though, instead, they were tears of pain and anguish. She pawed at her plate nervously, watching the people around her eat. This party was so…cliché. She had been to many like it, and it was getting more frustrating then not. A brown haired boy came up to her as she put a piece of salad in her mouth. She chewed slowly, as though contemplating the flavor, until the boy, Trowa spoke up.

            "We really should be going, I'll drop you off at your place on the way home."

A sense of relief flooded into her at that. She dropped her fork almost excitedly and took his arm. "Thank you, Trowa."

            Trowa's silver Four Runner pulled up to her apartment in a small area of the city, and she thanked him before climbing the stairs to the glass door of her home. She walked in and closed the door quietly before walking into her bedroom. She slung her purse on the doorknob, not even bothering to check the fine leather. Instead, her face went right to her mirror in her bathroom.

She studied herself in the mirror. She traced the contours of her face and her body. She was hideous, she decided. The person she stared at was ugly, and not beautiful as she should have been. The person had plump cheeks, and a waist that was far too large for its own good. She undid the back of her dress, and slipped out of it into a nightgown. She brushed her hair with a bristled brush, until her gaze drifted to the open toilet. Her breath caught in her chest. She felt her muscles tighten up. She looked again in the mirror, at herself. The person who stared back looked impassive, but she hated what she saw, and she knew what she had to do.

With one hand holding her hair behind her head, she stalked over to the toilet and knelt. Her other hand met her face, and her slender finger slid into her throat…


	2. Doctor's Orders

            Catherine awoke the next morning, or more struggled awake the next morning. Her hair was disheveled, and her face felt tight and drawn. She took a ragged breath and hobbled to her mirror. The fair maiden she expected to greet her was instead looking old, haggard, and ugly. Her delicate fingers probed her face, feeling the bones beneath the surface, and her mouth opened in a silent scream of anguish. Her hands clawed down on the counter until they grasped the end of the letter opener. She pressed the point to her neck. "_One quick thrust…that's it, then this will all be over,"_ she thought. She hurled the letter opener with all her strength, and it buried itself in the opposite wall. "_Coward." _Then came the pain…a great stabbing pain in her midsection; she bared her teeth in effort to resist it. The room started to become dark…so tired…she crawled to her bedside and found her phone. She pressed the speed-dial…the room started to go black. His voice came on the phone, she elicited a groan of pain, and then the blessed blackness took her.

            The braided boy flipped his cell-phone with a rush and dialed 911. His fingers were trembling…the Caller ID had said Catherine's number. He watched the road and bit his lip, his black Mustang speeding down the highway at 85 mph.

            "911 Emergencies"

            "There's an emergency at 513 Lorraine Apartment 4, I think my friend's been hurt!"

            "Alright sir, we're dispatching an ambulance, can you inform us of the severity of the injuries?"

            "I…I'm not sure, she called me and screamed and then the phone went dead."

            "The Police and an ambulance are on the way, sir."

            "Thank you." He clasped the cell-phone closed and focused on the road.

            Ten minutes later, he was banging on Catherine's door. "Catherine, its Duo! Open up Catherine!" He waited for a second before taking a step back. He delivered a kick to the door's lock and jarred the door open. He sprinted inside.

            "Catherine! Where are you? Catherine, answer me!" He found her, sprawled next to her bed, unconscious. She looked terrible, as though she was starved to death.

            He shook her, "Catherine, c'mon Catherine, answer me." Her pale lips remained motionless and her eyes were like deadweights. He buried her head in his shoulder and stroked her hair.

            "You're gonna be ok…c'mon Cat, hold on, just hold on…" The ambulance pulled up with a squeal, and the medics took Catherine, leaving him behind on his knees. As they hooked her up to life-support, he did something he hadn't done since they took down Deathscythe…he cried…

She awoke in a bed, in a strange white room, with white walls, a white Tv, and white bedsheets. It depressed her to look at all the white, it made her feel all empty inside. Her eyes shifted to her arm, and she saw the needle embedded in her wrist, and she knew they were feeding and hydrating her intravenously. She sighed…no point in hiding the truth now…at least the horrible pains in her stomach were gone. A nurse came in and tapped her IV's testing the readings and looking at her charts. She smiled at Catherine, before she walked out. Catherine would have mouthed out as many obscenities as she could, had she the strength to form words with her mouth. Later that day, another nurse knocked on the door, before leading in a strange young man in a doctor's coat.

"Ms. Bloom? You have a new therapist who will be taking care of you when you go home." She motioned with her hand, and he stepped forward, his long braid swinging as he stepped. Her eyes widened a bit in shocked recognition.

            "Catherine Bloom, meet Dr. Duo Maxwell."


	3. A Devil's Devotion

            Catherine stared at the glass of water sitting before her. It helped in tuning out the mindless babble Duo produced. Now he was saying something about how he was so worried. To hell with his worrying! She wouldn't have been in any danger if she had been more careful, but she had been careless. She had tried to starve the very life from herself without realizing it. What a fool she had been. Now everyone knew…now she knew that she was a horrible person. She was adorned in the simple gown of a hospital patient, and Duo was in his vile lab coat. That stethoscope around his neck looked ridiculous. They sat in a pair of leather chairs, with a table between them, the room was alabaster, with plenty of windows.

            "…Like I was saying, Cat, you really need to let whatever is bothering you go, you can't live like this." She didn't move.

            "C'mon Cat, I know you can hear me." She sat unblinking.

            He shook his head, his braid following like a rudder, "women…why are they so damned stubborn?"

            She looked up and met his eyes at that last statement. "How'd you get in here Duo? I should think they could tell when a person projects death and not life."

            He shrugged, "so I relieved a doctor of his coat and a nurse of her tools, so sue me. He's in a locker somewhere, I just don't remember which one." He made a sly grin.

            She suppressed a cough, "Why don't you go Duo, it wouldn't help you to associate with such a horrible person such as myself."

            He gripped her hands in his, she felt his warmth in her frail fingers, and winced at the pressure. "Because Cat, I care." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped through the pictures before removing one, and placing it facedown before her. He looked at her expectantly, and she sighed and picked it up. She looked, and blinked, and looked some more. Sudden realization hit her, and she let the photo slip from her fingers, it floated to the tabletop.

            She looked up at him, "Duo? Do I know her?"

            He smiled, "Catherine Bloom, meet Catherine Bloom."

            She looked at the picture again. The person who winked back at her was beautiful. The image was vibrant, the lips full, the hair exquisite. The eyes were bluer than the sky, the hair a rich earthy brown. The skin, flawless, like alabaster polished for years upon years. The cheeks were a healthy rose red, and she had her arms wrapped around someone. Her eyes drifted, until she found the familiar face of Duo, with his arm wrapped around her waist, his tongue sticking out at the camera. She shuddered, and a single tear fell from her eye.

She looked at herself, "God, how could I be so wrong…I'm a horrible person!" Her arms were thin, and bony. Her legs were like sticks. She felt her cheeks, and felt the bones beneath, more prominent then the flesh. Her ribs were poking out at her when she lifted her shirt, and her hair was even fading, the curls and luster gone out of them, like the life out of her.

Duo cupped her thin, milky hands in his own, and kissed her brow. "Catherine, I will be here for you, and I will help get back to who you were. But you must say something for me, and for yourself."

She returned his piercing gaze with her own, making no moves to betray herself. Duo gave a long, deep, cleansing breath.

"Repeat after me. I am a strong, beautiful, vibrant woman…" He paused and kissed her hand, "And I love you."

His words caught her like a knife, so unexpected, but yet so true. Tears flowed freely from her eyes, and down her wrinkled cheeks. She buried her head in his chest, and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

Duo smiled back, "That's ok, Cat." He placed his hand over his heart. "You can say it in here."


	4. Even Angels Fall

            Catherine gazed out of Duo's Mustang's window at the rolling landscape as he drove her to his lake house. He believed she needed someone to be near her, to help her cope with what had happened. Secretly, she felt that she didn't need his help, and that she knew what she had done wrong. She just didn't want to hurt him…after a while, she dozed off, but her dreams haunted her as life tormented her daily.

            …_She opened her eyes, and she was seated in a slender rocking chair, with a woolen blanket draped over her. A fireplace blazed not more then a few feet away, and a bowel of warm soup sat near her, on a countertop. She fingered the plaid blanket, and sloughed it off, the heat starting to pierce her weary bones. She looked out a nearby window, and was almost shocked to see flowing white flakes shimmering back at her. Then it hit her. She had collapsed while on a hike in the woods nearby. The snowstorm had hit like the ocean tide, draining the heat from her body. She had been tired…so tired…but then he had found her. Her braided devil, and her loving angel, all in one, and he had saved her wretched soul. Her gaze drifted towards the light behind her, and she saw a slender brown braid lashing from side to side, as its owner craned over a giant book. Her foot slipped, and made a rasp on the floor, causing him to jump, and look back. She lost herself in his hazelnut eyes._

_            "Catherine…" he whispered as he walked over. "How do you feel? I just radioed Trowa and the others, they're on their way back. We almost lost you, you were unconscious when I stumbled upon you, and I carried you back as fast as I could and…"_

_            She slipped her finger over his lips, quieting him. "I'm alright, thank you Duo, thank you for saving my life."_

_            He gave her a knowing smile, before turning around and heading back towards the kitchen. "Well, call me if you need anything, I'll be making the Pumpkin pie." He walked back into the kitchen, and resumed his gaze over the giant cookbook. Catherine tried to get up but fell back into the chair. She succumbed to her weariness, wondering what possessed Duo to be making Pumpkin pie…_

_            When she awoke, she was surrounded by a circle of concerned pilots, and one Preventer. Sally Po walked over to where Catherine sat and smiled. "You gave us quite a scare there, Cat. I had to treat you for hypothermia, not a great thing at this time of the year."_

_            Catherine was about to question her when Duo cleared his throat, causing everyone to look up. "Alright everyone, I know you've been impatiently waiting for this…" Quatre giggled and Trowa gave a sly smile. "But hey, time for some cooking, Shinigami style, dinner is served!" With that, they all piled into a dining room, with Sally and Trowa lending Catherine their shoulders for support._

_            The table was laden with food, including a turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce. The pumpkin pie sat in the corner, steam still rising off its crust. Then, she remembered. Through the agony of the cold, she was here for a celebration. A celebration of Thanksgiving. Everyone took their turn to say something they were thankful for, and then it was Duo's turn._

_            "I…I am thankful for all of you…but most of all, I'm thankful for Catherine. I thank God for guiding me to her, so that I could help her. I thank God for guiding the swift hand and mind of Sally Po for healing her. And I thank God for all the support we've received, and for the forgiveness He has given us for some of the things we may yet regret we do, as Gundam pilots, and as people."_

_Everyone nodded, and began to fill their plates, but Catherine sat there, unmoving, and a single tear rolled down her face, and the moment it hit the plate, her world went black._

            She awoke with a start, and Duo looked over, concern dotting his face. "Duo, after all the horrible things I've done to myself, and after all that you've had to do to save me…how can you love one so wretched as me?"

            Duo smiled back at her. "Because…because it takes great power to forgive the unforgivable. And I could never forgive myself for letting one as precious to me as you die. Your life is everything to me, and I hope that one day, mine can be everything to you."

            She reached over, and cupped his cheek with her hand, smoothing a stray strand of earthen hair. "Duo…yours always has meant the world to me, and I hope we stay that way, forever and ever."

            "Forever, and ever." He intoned. But, in the deepest, darkest, farthest reaches of her soul, she wasn't truly sure…


	5. The Heart's War

            He eased her frailty onto the couch, it was plushy, and took to her form quickly. It was then that it hit him how much she had changed. He hated to admit it, but when he stared at what she had become, he felt revulsion. Yet he loved her. Her will, her conviction…he found it strangely intoxicating. He always had. When Catherine had saved Trowa from self-detonating, Duo was touched by her courage, and in Trowa's for accepting his fate, and continuing to live. He wished there had been someone there for him, when he had been contemplating death. After Deathscythe was destroyed, he had lost almost everything inside him willing him to live. It felt as though a part of him, a part of his very soul had been torn away…and yet, there was still a glimmer of hope. Where none had been there to save him, he was determined to save her. He would never share that fate with another, and he was definitely not going to allow Catherine to succumb to despair.

            He brushed her curls with his hand, "Sit here Cat, I'm going to make you some food." She smiled back, meekly.

            He walked through the lake house to the expansive kitchen, and pulled the doctor's notice out of his pocket. It read that he should keep her on a liquid diet for a while, until she recovered enough strength to hold down solid food. So, shoveling soup into her seemed the most likely option. He pulled out a pot and began boiling water to soften noodles for soup. It was either that or the traditional Chicken and Stars. When he walked back into the living room, Catherine was asleep on the couch, and he couldn't suppress a grin. She was so much easier to manage when she wasn't awake! He smiled and went back to stirring the soup. He began adding the ingredients…

            Catherine was haunted by dreams. Dreams of a tall and banged boy…_Trowa…He stood before her, his form slender and strong. She stared down at herself, and she was as she was awake; frail, weak, and utterly helpless._

_            "Catherine…"_

_            "Trowa…"_

_            He came to her then, and embraced her fiercely. "Catherine…don't do this, I know what you're thinking."_

_            She stumbled, "What am I thinking, Trowa?"_

_            "You're wondering if his love is enough. You're wondering whether love is enough to restore you. Whether or not him loving you, and you loving him back will be enough to stave off the pain to come."_

_            She fluttered her lashes irritably, "I don't know what you're talking about!"_

_            "Yes, you do, Catherine. You saved me once before, now it's my turn. You can feel it, deep inside." He pointed at his head, "It will always be there, that feeling that you are not beautiful. But you must not listen. Listen here…" His hand trailed to his heart. "There, you will find the strength. You MUST find the strength! Just as the pain came with what you have done, so will it come so that it can be undone."_

_            Tears stained her face, "Trowa…am I beautiful…can I be called truly beautiful anymore?!?! I'm an abomination…I tried to destroy myself, and I couldn't even have the sense to realize it. I almost took my own life, and I couldn't see it. All I felt was that I wasn't good enough! That I could never measure up! What do you have to say to that, Trowa!"_

_            "Catherine…" He wiped the tears from her face. "In your heart…deep inside…down to your very immortal soul, can you truly believe these things?"_

_            She looked away, and he smiled, "I thought not. You taught me to open my heart, to accept someone else's love, and devotion. I never knew I could, nor that these emotions…that they could feel so…amazing. If you let him, he can save you!"_

_            She shook her head, "I thought he loved me, but I'm not sure…oh, Trowa, what should I do?"_

_            The banged boy stared deep into her eyes impassively. "You must let your true beauty shine through. He sees it, now you must see it as well. It is not the outer beauty that pulls him to you. It is the beauty of the heart. Of your heart, Catherine. Catherine, promise me to live…live for me…and for him. Remember back when you had hypothermia, what he said about you. He truly cares, Cat, and he loves you. Let that love lead you back to your way. I shall repeat his words, which are perhaps the most important thing for you to remember…"_

_            Trowa cleared his throat, and took her frail fingers in his, gazing deep into her eyes, the way her braided angel had. "Repeat after me…I am a strong, beautiful, vibrant woman."_

_            She seemed to consider for a second, before she placed a hand over her heart. "I won't let my silence be an answer this time. I am a strong, beautiful, vibrant woman. And I will follow my heart, wherever it leads."_

_            Trowa nodded his head, and smiled. He embraced her, and she was surrounded by a brilliant white light…_

She awoke on the couch, and saw Duo bustling about the kitchen…again. She laughed aloud, before limping to her feet. She hobbled over to Duo, and placed a hand over his shoulder. "No more misgivings, Duo…I'll need your help, but I want to live…I want to live for you."


End file.
